The Pain of Emotional Fallout from Blame and Shame
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In recent days I’ve seen evidence of liars being exposed. Habits of blaming others is naturally turning back on those who seek to manipulate and control. Being blamed, if we are afraid of it, activates our shame receptors and gives others an open door to weaponize it against us.
If you are someone who blames everyone but yourself, then feeds off the shame… prepare for life to get gradually harder and more painful. This includes self-blame.
But there’s a way to move through any correction for this this unloving habit — simply feel your own emotional pain rather than avoiding it by projecting it towards others and multiplying it exponentially. Nothing is more damaging to one’s own soul.
I made this Soul Circle to assist those who have been the recipient of blame and shame. It’s time to release that habit of absorbing others’ judgments and God, the Universe is eager to assist. All you have to do is want it.
Meditate with this Soul Circle to receive guidance and wisdom on this subject.
On a hike in the Southern San Juan Mountains a circle called to me. It wanted to be made on the topic of courage. (See chapter 5 of What It Means To Serve) I was on a steep slope, making my own switchbacks so as not to slip and fall, moving slowly downward after the accomplishment of having hiked up that same slope with a reward of lunch and a beautiful view.
Back home, making the circle, it was drawn as the lower right image. That’s what started as “right side up.” As I meditated with this soul circle, I felt the urge to turn it on it’s head (upper left). That’s when it’s message became clear.
You can order your Courage print here and display it
any way you want!
Courage requires us to view a problem from every angle.
The way I had drawn it, it felt like that speeding snail-eye would be traveling a half-circle in an endless, hamster wheel loop. The momentum would carry it forward again and again, just to arrive back at the same place.
When I flipped it over, what had seemed like confinement, now felt more like a porous, yet protective shell, bubble, space which would roll along with the snail, providing traction. Like an nonthreatening tank, slow and steady, going where others might not be able to. Or one of those human hamster balls that allows us to walk on water.
Courage often requires us to look at situations from different angles in order to take the next step. Like the four options above, a couple of those feel precarious, unwise. Yes, the best option may be uphill but once you get to a certain elevation, the path will level out and pick up speed, (lower left).
We don’t have to tackle problems in the way they first appear, in fact, if we do that, those problems will likely persist. We can *circle* each difficulty until we see a useful perspective, the exact expansion of awareness which that problem came to show us. When we reach the top of the ridge, where the uphill problem is behind us, we get to use natural laws to move us forward from there with very little effort.
In my experience there is an added bonus: I can feel grateful for the problem, privileged that it chose me. And, to take it a step further, I can give the problem a gift — the opportunity to fulfill its purpose, its reason for existing.
Who doesn’t want that?
Scott is an expert at saying just the right combination of words to turn a problem on its head.
Contact him here.
This Soul Circle may be for all of us but if you are in a place that requires courage, you might want to have this one (or one made especially for you) go to work on your specific issue. Contact me here.
Learning more about cymatic patterning has led me to feel physically and emotionally different than I did last week. Simply being more aware of natural patterns, which are created by frequencies, vibrations, other things unseen. This article isn’t any kind of scientific explanation of anything, I just launch into experimenting and see what happens.
I’ve been meditating on possibilities and questions such as:
“What sort of pattern does the feeling of love cause my cells to settle into?”
I meditate on filling myself and everything around me with Love, which always travels with it’s devoted sidekicks, Gratitude and Appreciation.
“What if we just let ourselves fall apart instead of years, decades, or a lifetime resisting that very thing, pretending to be strong with all the ways it shows up, useful or destructive? Wouldn’t the chaos in our bodies and souls naturally reorganize into pleasing, healthy patterns once we release all the fears behind our resistance to just being vulnerable?”
I already know the answer is yes, only because I have fallen apart.
The new information is the visual science behind cymatics. For me, it’s a new level of understanding rather than simply knowing through experience.
What we don’t realize is that if we just give ourselves permission to fall apart — or even if I can be a space for someone else to fall apart and it doesn’t freak me out — the actual chaos can be very short-lived because automatically, the laws of the universe will start jiggling us back to a state of health and calm.
By ‘chaos’ I mean:
– body tremors, etc.
As your whole being releases whatever it is you are most afraid to let come to the surface. Once it’s acknowledged, accepted, and LOVED it can start reorganizing into something more structurally sound.
( Caveat: this process has to be engaged with a sincere desire to feel and be responsible for your own feelings, not a new drama for gaining sympathy or to get rescued. )
The Love part is the key ingredient. Love the feelings for what they show you. Love the relief that comes from releasing all of it. Love that you were brave enough to look at it. Or Love it all for the person who is falling apart in front of you. Then Love whatever feelings come up in yourself in response to their dismantling. Maybe fall apart right alongside them if needed. Allow God’s Love to enter both of you if you feel that connection.
If you truly surrender to this process, it will settle out and you will be functioning again before you know it. Down the road, a new level of falling apart will likely be needed. It will happen in manageable intervals, and you will change each time. Each time will feel easier and more familiar. Believe it or not, it will eventually feel welcomed because you’ll know you need to just fall apart for a while and allow your nervous system and cells to recalibrate.
You and the thoughts that got you to any breaking point just have to get out of the way so God or natural forces can take care of it. If you don’t feel God as a reality, just let the natural functioning of the Universe take over.
Go ahead, fall apart.
You can certainly do it on you own but if you’d like a loving space to try it out, contact me to have your own Soul Circle assist you through any breakdown, big or small.
Butterflies get all the glory with their delicate beauty and whimsical flight. Everyone wants a resurrection story; to be the caterpillar who only had to discover its true self.
But I am not a butterfly, I’m a snail.
Snails get a bad rap. Yeah, we’re slow but we are purposeful, diligent and we know how to ride the current whenever needed. I don’t know about other snails, but there are entire WORLDS going on inside my shell. Maybe that’s why people want to yank us out all the time, they’re trying to snatch the the riches of our inner worlds.
The coolest thing about snail shells is that they show the mathematics of nature, the endless logic of the Golden Ratio, the Fibonacci Code, upon which much the Universe is built, including the proportions of our human bodies.
But society tells us there’s something wrong with our shell of perfect, natural proportions and we need to come out! We get the message that it’s a bad thing to be ourselves, in our natural state, made the way we are. But we’re no good without our shells. We need them to protect the delicate operations that go on within, where the real work happens.
We may seem mysterious or even boring, but it would be destructive to everything, especially to myself, to discard my shell, or an insult to God which goes like this, “I don’t like what you made me so I’m going to pretend to be something else because other people believe it is better than what you had planned for me.”
I’ve tried it. It’s devastating
And I don’t have to come all the way out to experience the world. I can keep my shell with me because that’s how it works to be a snail. Yes, it looks like it would be a burden to someone like a butterfly but I can handle it. I am that strong.
I’m happy to let you see inside the inner chambers of my shell, if you value, respect and appreciate the Divine wisdom of making some of us snails. Who I am and how I operate was not by my own design. My only task is to do what I’m made to do.
And this is why I write and make art. To let you see the scenic route of someone on a quiet journey.
I help people see themselves and sometimes hidden parts of the universe because of who I am. It’s not necessary for me to overcome the limitations of being just a snail. Inside my shell is a wondrous and beautiful place.
I travel the cosmos, absorb and report. I’m happy to be a snail.
Blessings to all you beautiful, diverse creatures.